It was bound to happen that call-outs referring to fraudulent profiles trolling Linkedin would become more frequent. This is a natural precautionary reaction to the arrival of a new unknown. As robots gain prominence we (humans) must consider that they are here to stay. Fear not. In fact, I believe up to a fifth of the profiles I'm connected with are robots. How do I know this? First, a couple of quick points.

There's an argument on Linkedin that some are 'too attractive to be a real human.' It is not a dating site, and regardless of a profile's looks (btw, who Connects with someone based on their photo?), it would be of grave injustice to a robot that would like to Connect to mistaken them as an actual human. I'm not necessarily siding with robots, but having taken the few seconds to review their profile I've found that more than a few of them have been borne out of certain respectable institutions, such as the three-in-one-week wanting to Connect that coincidentally all came from the same California university. Though all could have easily made a career in modeling they chose the more noble marketing. Yes, there's always a small chance these are renegade actions coming from Fbook ("Oh hey, we apologize. Wink-wink.") or some other group doing psycho-field tests on unwitting Linkedin customers. But don't knock them. Assimilation is a robot's top priority.

A more disturbing situation though is when a human you personally know transforms themself into a robot. I have an acquaintance whom absolutely refuses to engage on social media. Fair enough. No, he's not into the latest utopian craze expanding the boundaries of childhood: adult coloring books. See, he's too busy tiptoeing delicately around his 'ad' agency's halls, hesitant to voice an opinion, knowing if his HR gets a sniff of it then his Manhattan landlord's $2700/mo closet that he's renting may be at risk. Also gleefully noted, approaching his 2-year mark still intact, in lieu of raises, word is said agency will soon self-activate the gauzy 'VP' to his title. I'm getting the feeling he's becoming an irreparable deformation that only affable psychedelics could alleviate.

Naturally, there will be a period of tension as robots (and their more esteemed handheld cousins) continue to burrow deeper into us. For those who prefer the perilous, revoltingly beautiful flaws of human interaction, here's a simple way to find out if you've already connected with a robot on Linkedin:

Send them a message through the Linkedin messaging system. If you do not get a response then try emailing them. If that doesn't get a response, or you receive an unintelligible response, then you're most likely communicating with a robot. If you do find this distressing you can just go into your Connections section of Linkedin, click on their profile and hit the 'Remove' button.

I do this quite often actually. Especially with the tricky dime-a-dozen robo-recruiters. Most likely due to subpar programming, the majority do not return, and/or they come back shortly after, functioning under another alias or employer.

So if you see a robot on the street smile and say hi. Look around, surely someone sitting in a cafe has been hijacked by one. Heck, there's probably one sitting in your kitchen or bedroom right this minute. I hear there's one you can wear on your wrist that may one day save your life. Even work for you. Or, quite possibly, take your job.


(Yes the above pic is a rice-cooker. It stares, sometimes winks and hisses, but it can't talk. Yet.)